Saturday, December 17, 2011

Those Red Sneakers


I am those red sneakers with polka dotted laces so old that feet shouldn't wear them but I can't throw them out because they remember when red converse sneakers were still made in the USA and not overseas in some dragon of a factory where tiny underpaid hands worked for hours for me, or us, and dreamt of some pot of gold at the end of an 80-hour workweek rainbow myth.

These shoes used to, like a lot of things, come from somewhere in my backyard, beside the flowers whose names I know and whose garden's smell I can remember even when I'm not there or haven't been there for years, the years these red sneakers have seen me through, from my room to the mountains to down home and away, overseas, overrun and nomadic, a twenty-something stealing through worlds in red sneakers, polka dotted laces, through shifting opinions to this.

And I remember when I bought those red ones, at the shoe store downtown, the man in the green shirt smiled and said, "This is our last pair still made in the USA. Nike bought Converse and now they're making them in China." He said cheaper, most likely, more profitable. And even though the rubber on the toes didn't line up quite right they were red, and I bought them, and they brought me here.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Sidewalk Scene

I sneeze and the bum
clutching his can of Four Loko
says "fuck you."
This is the world we live in,
where the sidewalk smells like fish.
And in my dreams
I am always alone.

To Swim Alone

Tomorrow I will go to the water's edge. I will look out at the lake. First across to the other side, where the tree line and water lap together. Then to the sky, shielding my eyes from the sun. I'll probably point, say something about the white and the blue of it. How it matches the color of the water, and wonder which is it – who matching whom? I will take off my clothes in the sunlight. I'll fumble with the socks. When I am wearing nothing, I will wade in, hands folded at my breast, scared, wondering. I will study the feeling of the sediment beneath my feet. I will study the bits at the bottom, then the deep. I will look out at the goal. While pine needles stir at my ankles, while I long to look back to you – your body, your calm reassuring smile, you voyeur's desire – I will focus on the surface. Then, I will break it. Hands first. Hair streaming behind. Skin cold eager to fill with blood. Eyes shut. I will dive out alone. It will be okay.